January 2004

You only need to breathe consciously one or two times and you will recover your smile. --Thich Nhat Hanh If you’re like many people you have at least one or two resolutions for the new year. So, rather than add to your plate a list of parenting resolutions, I’d like to give you permission to take a few things off your list! That’s right, this is the 2004 New Year’s “Un-Resolution.” Resolve to simply breathe. We learn in elementary school that breathing is an involuntary response, something our bodies do whether we are aware of it or not. But in creating an awareness around our breathing that transforms this simple biological function into a powerful parenting practice. My devotion and commitment to the practice of conscious breathing has transformed many of my parenting experiences from frustration to peaceful resolution. As I slowly and steadily become better at dealing with parenting ups and downs this way, life gets calmer. It will for you, too. One of the many benefits of taking three deep breaths is that it creates a space for us to choose a more uplifting and effective second thought. And many parents report that the single most helpful practice they learned in my Parenting With Soul course is conscious breathing. Breathing is a form of prayer in many spiritual movements, and many types of meditation focus on the breath. But aside from that, there are deep physiological and psychological benefits as well: -Three deep breaths will bring peace to a stressful situation – talking often adds fuel to the fire. -We diffuse the intense and destructive emotions of anger (our children’s and our own!) -When we breathe deeply, we model for a children a powerful way to deal with stress. Picture the following situations (and add some of your own) to see how conscious breathing can help you in stressful situations: -You’re due to make a big presentation at work and the school nurse calls to say your child has a fever and needs to go home -You walk into a room that’s in shambles after a day of fort building -When involved in a dramatic conversation, instead of saying “Oh, my God!” -When your child has been injured -When your child is late coming home -Whenever you don’t know what to say -Right now